Etiquette: Do I invite, YOU to my HENS……

Hey Friends,

How are you all?

From past experiences, you all like it when I put down HONEST words.

So this is a G O O D I E.

When I have whispered, that this will be my next post. A number of you have turned your noses up.


YEP we are ABSOLUTELY going there.

SO, here goes.

As some of you know, I am to be Wedded in November…………#stilltimetobackout #jokes

The bottom line is, weddings are not cheap. We can’t have EVERYONE. As much as Craig and I would L O V E to have everyone, we just PHYSICALLY cant.

Insert Photo of the said Couple.


Anyone that has had a Wedding, OR is planning a Wedding will understand.

We are making, some quite controversial – decisions and you know what it HURTS.

Us more then them/YOU.

The thing is, we have lived in three states over eight years. We have gathered a shiz load of life long bebes, on the way.

Craig and I made the decision when we lived in Sydney, that our list would be our list.

*Regardless of who we fall in love with back home.

Ouch I know.

Well Jess being Jess, has gone and fallen in love, with a number of Ladies and a few Guys……..

She now, can’t really imagine them not being apart of her day.

SO, this is where I get to my point.


My bridesmaids have been on board as far as I believed. One of my bridesmaids lets call her “my honesty box”, made me realise I had gone a bit crazy.  “Jo blow” from primary school, which I haven’t spoken to in FIVE years, DID. NOT. NEED. AN. INVITE.

SO aside from a few, they seem to be cool, calm and collected. #babes

Until I took a survey – notes below. #thanksguys #JOKES #loveyou

I just can’t help it.  I am the worst. I want everyone to feel included.  I want everyone to know they are loved.

Blame the Cancerian in me. #STARSIGNS

According to my “technical” Google search (Invite to Hens / no invite to Wedding) this act has been performed a number of times. Some are ok with it and some are not. Some had great times and some, well they assumed they got an invite to the gig #soawks

Here I stand, still not 100% convinced what is correct and if I am going to do the right thing.

I present some findings,

One blogger noted –

” its ok, just keep the wedding talk to a minimum, so they don’t feel left out”

Insert LOL, insert hash tag #awks, insert #soz but me thinks there will be some talk of said wedding.

Then I found this one –

“You can invite who you want to your hens mate, those that are great fun will be brill on your hen do. You could always invite them to the ceremony and not the reception


Finally –

It’s sooooo awkward, don’t do it!! I have been to a couple of hen’s where not everyone is invited to the wedding and it’s weird. It has made both the invited and not, feel a little awkward about discussing wedding plans etc. it’s not rude, exactly, but it’s awkward

LOL so many LOLS…………. So yes my sources are C L E A R L Y great.

Lets get the ball rolling, its time I called in the big guns and asked them –

The big guns (My Best friends)

  • My Gusband, a straight shooter doesn’t skip a beat.

My answer is No! You can invite people to your engagement party and not the wedding (especially if the two events are three years apart) Having people at the hens who aren’t invited to the wedding is awkward and they would probably feel left out. Also, I think hens should be kept relatively small (15 max) only the important people should be invited.

  • My Darling Skye, who I know has been in this situation before and was incredibly hurt by it.

Hens should be about the special people in your life and celebrating all that has led up to your wedding. People may assume they’re automatically, invited to the wedding if they’re invited to the hens…Which makes it even more awkward to tell them they’re not invited to the wedding.

  • My Beautiful Bridesmaid Mel – Who I thought was on board, glad I did this survey!

I would say no so long as your wedding wasn’t tiny/you were eloping. If people don’t make the cut for your big day why should they make the cut for the last night as a single lady?? Also then it’s awkward for those who are going to be talking about it etc. Sorry if that’s harsh.

  • My other Baben Bridesmaid Steph, who once again I assumed was toats on board.

I think it’s better to keep it to the people that are coming to the wedding. It’s almost worse to get invited to the hens only, that not get invited at all.. It’s a tad awkward

  • My lovely Laura, FINALLY someone on my team. This little lady has been to a number of hen’s parties and not the Wedding. #yes

I say yes, you can most defiantly be invited to the hens if you are not invited to the wedding.

Wedding are expensive, but sometimes you have a lot of girlfriends. My sister had a small intimate wedding with only family and close friends. She wanted to spend the last night as a single gal with her gal pals, they were all fine with the situation. Further to this I’ve been invited to a few hens and not the wedding. I felt totally fine about it. 

  • Tiffy, my always honest and incredible Bridesmaid, has my heart and I love her for her honesty.

I do know a lot of people that have been invited just to the hens. But there has to be a line. Your hens isn’t your birthday. It’s about the people that matter and understand you the most and are celebrating YOUR last night, not just a night out. It also depends of you have already had the conversation with these people that hey aren’t invited to the wedding. This would have to be done prior to the day or it is pretty awkward.

  • Belle, my wonderful friend from high school. Also one who is honest and I love her for it.

Oh the controversy! It depends on what you view the purpose of the hens to be… to me it’s the most special people fare-welling the “unattached” person as they know it. So not a place for associates. Personally I’d prefer not to be invited to hens, if I wasn’t invited to the wedding. 

  • Ali, my girlfriend who has her own hashtag called #aligetinsta. Essentially her comment is team Jess.

Depends on the situation! So don’t have an opinion either way.

  • Emma, my Sister, Maid of Honour and someone who’s arm I can twist. #SISTERSARETHEWORST #referingtome

Absolutely DO NOT invite them to the hens, it would be a painful situation and best to avoid. Its understandable if you are having a small wedding with just family, but we all know the wedding of Jess and Craig will be anything but. 

Thank you friends, you are now dismissed.

There you have it, what is right what is wrong? I would L O V E to hear your thoughts on this. Have you been in this situation, have you been too much of a lover?

For now, my list stands still and my love for my friends will always be big and honest. Whatever I do decide, I just hope these people know how much I love them.

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Much Love




Oh hey babe, why don't you leave me some sexy words............ Or just a reply will be fine :)

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